Pamamanhikan: A Filipino Tradition

Hello Gorgeous Reader!

This is actually an over due blog post. I’ve written a previous draft on this weeks ago but for some reason my computer decided to delete all my drafts. Now I’m forced to rewrite this blog or technically write a new one.

Last April first my fiancé went to my residence to formally ask for my hand in marriage from my parents. This is a tradition among Filipinos called “Pamamanhikan”.

We’ve been talking about having each other’s parents meet after the engagement. Our first option was to take them out for dinner. But we kind of hesitated over the idea because it would be super awkward to talk about our marriage plans with other people eavesdropping on us at a restaurant.

Alas, it was my fiancé’s trusted league of merry-men (a.k.a his workmates) who convinced him to do it the traditional way. That is, to go to my house with his parents and family members bringing food. It was a great idea since it would be the best venue for our families to meet so that the wedding itself won’t be that awkward for them.

“In all things, success depends on previous preparation and without such previous preparation there is sure to be failure –Confucius”

And prepare we did! Like agents on a mission my fiancé and I met a couple of days before the actual Pamamanhikan. We discussed about our plans, how to answer questions they might ask and etc. We agreed pretty much on things except that he wanted to bring liquor. I went on a crazy speed talk rant. (LOL) I was afraid that our parents would get drunk, disagree and ruin everything. He just smiled at me and said he won’t bring some.

(but he still did … good thing neither of our parent drank)

On the day of the Pamamahikan, I was going nuts trying to get our house clean. Normally, it looked like a dumpsite, but when I was done… it looked like an “organized” dumpsite! ^_^ Seriously though, it was a mess. Our glass table broke a couple of weeks before and the glass that they ordered for the table wasn’t available within the day. We resorted to having 2 wooden tables covered with table cloth.

I had just finished cleaning when my fiancé called to say they were on their way. I hurriedly got dressed and probably put on one too many blush on and possibly looked like a clown when I went out to greet and welcome them to our humble abode.

When everyone was “settled in” (meaning all cramped and seated together cautiously waiting for something to happen in an awkward silence), his father said (very formally) that they were there to ask for my hand in marriage. My mom then replied (very formally) “well, which hand would you like to have; the right or the left?” LOL everyone chuckled…

Anyway, long story short; the evening went okay. All thanks to his uncle’s superb cooking (which really impressed my parents) and the fact that his father (and his father’s siblings) went to the same high school as my mom and her siblings. Our parents were able have some small-talk after dinner. Of course the Sendong Tragedy was ever present in the conversation. As for the rest of the family; well, there’s nothing more Filipino than “picture-picture” LOL ^_^

 

 

 

(I made dessert “with love~” )^_^

 

 

 

We were able to answer their questions (as rehearsed) or at least my fiancé answered while I nodded in agreement. Truthfully, I admired how he handled that situation. I watched as he answered with confidence while he firmly held my hand. That moment, I could feel how serious he was with his intention to marry me.

For me, the best part of the whole Pamamanhikan, was hearing each other’s family say “he/she is very well accepted as part of our family”. It was just so heart-warming. It was like sharing a part of who we are; our families.

By the end of the night, we were relieved to take another big step towards the aisle. All our anxiety turned into excitement. ^_^