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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Girl Behind the Fences



Hello Gorgeous Reader!

It's been a while since I last posted a blog. The have been many changes in my life since... I guess, the biggest change in my life was that half of the people that I lived with at home left.

I've never been good at showing emotions. I find it hard to make new close friends or be part of a new clique. You see, my childhood is not one that most kids from my neighborhood would recall.

I was the girl behind the fences...

I was a sickly child. I had asthma, allergies and a poor immune system damaged by prolonged medications. I used watch my siblings run in the dirt, laugh and sweat from child's play. I smiled every time they waved at me from afar. I didn't want to be pitied... after all, who would want that?

I was content with watching them play from behind the fences. But now, everything has changed...
I could no longer watch them from afar. Both my brothers have left to work away. One in Manila, the other in Pampanga. And on top of that, our nanny for 23 years had to live with her daughter because she was too old to be watching the house alone.

I've never spoken to them since they left... never even sent them an SMS... I know, "how cruel of me" right? Deep inside, there's a part of me that misses them a lot... But where do I begin? When I've spent my entire life keeping my emotions to myself... just.. watching from behind the fences...

Everyday I wish that I could say... "I hope you're doing okay there" and "I miss you". But whenever I try, an inexplicable fear overwhelms me.

For now, at least I am able to share this with you Gorgeous Reader...

I hope, to someday... be able to open the fences that cage my emotions...

               someday...

                           soon....



Post Script:
I would like to thank the person who inspired me to write today. I had a hard time acknowledging how I felt the past weeks. In a way... you have lifted my burden. Kudos to you! And more followers to come ^_^

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