Friday, September 2, 2011

Why I Hate his Ex Girlfriend

Hello Gorgeous Reader!

I’d like to share something that I’ve been keeping off my chest for a while now. You see, I strive to be a nice person. I know that’s so overrated but still I want to be nice.

However, one of the biggest roadblock to that is the fact that I hate my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend.

We were just a few months together when I talked to him about going abroad to “find greener pastures” as others would put it. We were sitting in a jeepney on to way to my place when I opened up that topic. He didn’t look at me when he answered. He reasoned that couldn’t we have a good life in our own country?. I went on talking about better opportunities and blah blah blah… Finally he said in soft voice… “are you leaving me like my ex-girlfriends?” I fell quiet because of what he said. I placed my head on his shoulder and said… “Okay… (I looked at him and smiled) I’ll never leave you. I promise. We’ll grow old together, and go fishing in your hometown.” I knew how much he’d been hurt. From that moment on, I started resenting this girl.

Occasionally, I’d have moments in our relationship where I’d feel like I’m subliminally compared to her. I didn’t like that at all. Of course, I’d want to be loved for me. Not because I remind him of someone else. I'd ask him to pretend that he’s my friend (his alter ego) and I would tell him how I felt. He would assure me that I’m different and that he chose me over her. His words and his voice were the only things that appeased my weary heart on those moments.

Time passed and months turned to years. I couldn’t recall how but I found out that his ex-girlfriend sent him a personal message informing him that she’s getting married. I don’t know but it really bothered me a lot. I mean, what’s her motive for doing that? (guess for yourself and tell me on the comments) She could have just posted a group announcement if she meant for him to know, right? Why put so much effort to tell him personally? After all they’ve already broken up and he’s with me. That kind of made me feel a little pissed… (okay, I meant a LOT) Did she even consider how that would make me feel? how her husband to be would feel? I don’t know if you’d agree but I thought it was indecent of her to do that.

Then there was the time when she tried to add me up on Facebook. Of course there are only two choices: Accept and Deny. If I accepted her request; I would be stuck in a very awkward pretentious friendship where she would subliminally bruise my self-esteem by pointing out how much better she is at everything! Then I guess she’d be telling me about all the things she knows more about him and blah blah blah… so on an so forth… That would definitely make me feel like crap!. So I say NO! I don’t like you! And I don’t want to be your friend! I guess that would have others thinking that I’m bitter or insecure. But I needed to be honest with myself.
angry
The worst that she made me feel was when I opened a Facebook video. In that video, the only people who were tagged was my boyfriend and his sisters. (In short, only his immediate family). And then, low and behold… she was the only other person tagged to that video! Oh! If you only knew how much I wanted to trash the computer! (LOL) I was infuriated! What is she trying to point out here? That she is part of his family and that I’m the outsider? (You bi%c#!! I thought to myself.)
At that moment, all the niceness in me flew out the window. That’s the last straw, I totally HATE her!

Until this day, I’m still trying to weigh if how I feel about her is reasonable… I tried to put myself in other people’s perspective but I still feel the same. I’d ask myself: Can’t she just leave us alone? Can’t she just move on with her life? Can’t she just have a little sense of decency for herself? (if not for herself, but for her husband?)

Oh! I don’t know gorgeous reader… Am I over reacting? How would you feel if you were me?

I’d still hate her though! (evil grin) :P

19 comments:

  1. LOL Well rather than hate her, try taking this as a sign that you really do love your boyfriend. You put up with what you felt was subliminal jabs at you from him about her, and you were there to comfort him if she hurt him again, and just from the initial hurt. You stuck by him, and you meant everything you said to him.

    As for her. I don't think anyone can expect you to like her. I don't even know her but I'm starting to think I don't like her much either lol. Just don't let your anger towards her come between you and your boyfriend.

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  2. yeah, i really learned to appreciate my boyfriend more from those moments. He did stand by me and told the girl to stop. And he reassured me of his feelings...

    that's the only thing that really fuels a girls 'reassurance'

    I'm not angry... I just hate her LOL~ ^_^

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  3. whoops I meant "all girls" not "a girls" ^_^

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  6. whoa! okay okay! my fault. I apologize for that. It was a bad move indeed..haha! (dili pa man ta fb ad2) ;-p
    didn't mean to offend you in anyway, it's just that, she wanted to see "Mama" and how she's doing and all..^_^

    re your comment in my post: I don't think just because we're in a relationship there's love na daun, I was attracted to him though and much more overwhelmed for the fact that he likes me and chose to court me over those girls who were very much into him and not to mention more prettier than me :)

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  7. OMG!! I hate her even more!!! LOL your brother never told me she was friends with your mom...

    Hala~ maiyang and her big mouth! LOL~

    Seriously though, I just don't think that what she's been doing is appropriate... I completely understand your point of view. But I hope you get me too ^_^

    On your blog:
    Interesting... beauty is in the eye of the beholder and men don't like desperate women LOL Besides, maybe 'you are' prettier than those girls.. ^_*

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  8. she was actually friends with everybody..
    as I mentioned in my previous post, my brother used to talk a lot about her (to my cousins, parents, lola and me especially)
    I'm not trying to make you feel bad, pero it was all in the past and sila pa ad2 na time :)
    Dalyn used to call us and usahay mangamusta gyud sya..^_^
    I'm not expecting you to understand her or unsa ba..I believe it's an act of a guilty person. She was guilty of what she did in the past. Don't wanna blame her, some relationships kai in.ana man gyud. Siguro, dili lang gyud nya kaya e give up ang friendship nila just because in.ad2 ang nahitabo sa past. Pero atleast diba? kabalo ka na ga iwas si bro for you. So, trust him :) I think that's all that matters. ^_^

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  9. but love to hear your thoughts finally ^_^

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  10. OMG you mentioned her name! Shhh~ Yup... Your brother is a super great boyfriend ^_^ I just found her actions awkward and I kind of feel bad for her husband and his family... I mean I would feel awkward if I were in their place... like you said "TOO FRIENDLY" it's creeping me out! LOL

    ahh relationships... it's always complicated ^_^

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  11. ahhhhhh! hahahahahahaha!

    but I do hope ma okay mo in the future :)

    I'll be the happiest person :)

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  12. oh my... O_o i guess the universe will be disappointed... ask me anything except that LOL~

    Staying away might just be the best act of friendship she can do for me ^_^ LOL~

    I do wish that she'd be able to move on with her life and be happy.

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  13. affected ba kaayo mong duha!chill mga girls..hehehhe

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  14. Yup, I'm insecure. I'm not perfect. At least I'm honest with how I feel about things and it always resolves conflicts and misinterpretations. Unlike other people who'd rather post rude anonymous comments just to make themselves feel better of their own insecurities!

    Up-Top if you agree readers!! LOL :P

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  15. Now I hate her, too. :P

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  16. My boyfriend and I have been together for over three years and we love eachother vet much. I know he would never cheat and I know he never loved his ex as much as me... But I hate her. She is actually a lot like me. She likes stuff I like and has had long curly brown hair just like me. She just cut her hair short, and I was about to do it. I was struggling with being skinny enough to do it and feeling confident enough to pull it off and she goes and does it. She is about 5'3" and 100lbs. I have always struggled with weight and am 5'7" and about 140. I feel like the jolly green giant next to her. It's like she is better at being me than me. And then my boyfriend liked a picture of her with short hair and I wanted her to die. This is unreasonable I know. but god

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  17. Thank you for your blog I like your writing style, and I get a place to share!

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